Today I am a big ball of nervous energy. Kind of like a big tennis ball sized ball of rubber bands we once had. Lots of potential energy and nowhere constructive for it to go. At least my mind has slowed down. The last few mornings I have woken up with my mind racing - literally going so fast I wondered if this was what it felt like to be on speed. Imagine a sushi train with a booster engine, speeding around the track and you barely have time to pick the thoughts off before they are gone again.
It hit me a bit last night. I have my last day of work before the surgery coming up today so it's feeling a bit real. Most people who need to know (and some at work who don't) know now, but we keep coming up with more people we should tell that I had forgotten about. I am totally touched by all the support and offers of help we've received. If there is ever a good side to bad news it is the way it brings out the best in everyone.
My 6yo is going to keep me honest. No self-pity for me. On the weekend I played footy in the park with the boys and then explained to them that I might not be up to footy in the park again for a few weeks. DS1 says "Yeah, yeah, I know. You have breast cancer." with that kind of "roll your eyes" tone. Gotta love him!
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